first weigh in

week 1: -8 pounds

i'm hoping for 6 next week. yippy yay~~~

i decided to (finally) open up about my weight struggles with my closest friends

 and it has helped me tremendously!

just knowing that they support me and believe in me is soooooo motivating!!! 

Dear Lord..

This made me giggle.. hehehe..

 Week 1 

Q. What inspires you most? 

A. FASHION

I love fashion so much and I completely gave up on it since I became fat. 

I don't know if I'm still going to pursue it as a career but what I do know is that I love it.

I'm so inspired by clothes, accessories, colors, prints, jewelry... yet I can't express it because nothing fits me or looks half decent. I wear the same clothes again and again - 

things I don't even like.. ugly ugly clothes. 

Sooooo the thought of being able to wear what I actually want to wear is exciting!

Whenever I want to do this:

which is literally every night

I look at this:

 

And this:

And this:

Week 2  ~~~ Here I come!!!!

I'll start posting progression photos later.. 

much later..

Thinspiration

Dieting is TOUGH.

Eating right, fighting the urge to binge, getting myself to the gym.. everything!!

I was consistent for two weeks, then off for two weeks, and now back on. 

Why is it so hard?? Sigh~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some 'thinspo' pictures!!

Enjoy these before & afters.

My legs will probably never look like this. 

And I'll probably never be able to wear shorts again..

 Oh well~~~

200 Pound Beauty

미녀는 괴로워

I first saw this movie a few years ago when I was somewhat average in terms of weight. 

I watched it again after gaining 60-70 lbs and it was a completely different experience.

Why? Because I knew how the 200 pound girl in the movie felt. 

"If I want to eat a bloody burger, I want to eat a bloody burger!" Hehe..

I don't want to get into details of how I feel and what I've realized.. etc, etc..

But all I know is that I want myself back. 

& most importantly, I want to be healthy. 

Healthy = Happy! 

I need some SERIOUS discipline.

Rule #1

 For the first two months, I am NOT going ANYWHERE past 9 pm. 

I must be home by 10.

After years and years of binging late at night

(you don't even want to know how many calories in one sitting) 

my body automatically CRAVES food at night. 

The hunger pains are AWFUL.

It literally feels like my stomach is being ripped apart...

 I desperately need my body/stomach to get used to a new eating regimen. 

So if you love me, please support me.

WISH ME LUCK 

ToodleS~

In a s k i n n y world

I keep saying, "if only I were skinny.."

I need to stop thinking and start doing